a metaphor for life

When I spoke with my counselor yesterday I told her about an important experience in my life that has been a metaphor for me reaching out and seeking help these last few months... and I want to share that metaphor with you today.

Mothers will probably understand most, but I think this can work for anyone.

When I was pregnant with my son, I found an OB, went to check-ups, knew I wanted a natural child birth, but decided to just go with the flow.  I did not like my doctor, or the office she worked for, but stayed because I didn't want to hassle with finding a new one.  When I went into labor I found myself in the hospital pretty much alone.  Yeah my boyfriend (now husband) was there, there were nurses in and out.. but I was pretty much alone.  Going through all that pain- alone.  After 8 hours of it I asked for the epidural.  I had a beautiful baby boy, but it didn't go at all how I imagined it would have.

Here they are, my beautiful gifts from God.

When I got pregnant with my daughter, I knew I wanted a natural child birth.  I researched like crazy.  Read a lot of books, watched a lot of documentaries, talked to a lot of other women.  I SOUGHT OUT the best midwifery in our city (knowing that midwives are more pro-natural birth than OB's), I chose them even though at the time I didn't know if my insurance would cover them or not because I didn't care.  I knew I needed people whose views aligned with my own, that actually CARED about my health, not a dollar in their pocket.  And they did.  They were amazing.  When I went into labor with my daughter I found myself in the hospital SURROUNDED by a room full of women who cared about me, who knew me, and who cheered me on through every. single. contraction.  And I didn't get an epidural.  I didn't even ask for one. I had a beautiful NINE POUND FOUR OUNCE baby girl without anything to NUMB THE PAIN.

I set myself up for success. I prayed to God through every contraction.  I had people there supporting me through every pain-filled minute.  The point is--- I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.  I can't get through this by myself.  I can't succeed on my own.

When I am having a hard time with a craving, or anxiety, or something just all around crappy happens in my life-- I can't just deal with it on my own, I will reach out for that pain medication-- food.  I may be powerless over an eating disorder disease, but I CAN set myself up for success.  I have a network of support at my fingertips with my computer, I have family and friends just a phone call away, and most of all-- Jesus is right here with me, living inside of me, and I can talk to him anytime, anywhere without a dime in my pocket or even a pocket at all.  HE is the living bread I can eat and feel WHOLE and ALIVE.

Oooo I just got chills, did you?

Thank you, Lord for being my bread- for always placing the perfect people in my life.  GOD you are so FAITHFUL and amazing!  I cry out in pain and you answer my pleas... every. single. time.  Bless my journey, God and may all my successes bring glory to you!  AMEN!