Dear 38-year-old Me

Hi.

This is you, from 10 years ago.

10 years ago you have a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old.  You stay at home with them.  Neither is in school yet, they are your full time job.

Today you woke up, started some laundry, then chased tornadoes.  Remember those days?  I know now things have to be a lot different with a 14 year old and 12 year old.... Maybe you miss the old days.  Don't.  I hope that you've learned to treasure your memories, but not let them fill you with regret.

I don't expect you to have changed the world or to have gotten famous, or to even have a super crazy successful career.  28 year old me doesn't really think those things are important.  My only expectation for you is to let God call you and that you are obedient.  I expect that you try to impact people's lives with how you live your own.  I expect that you don't let people walk all over you, but that you love those around you like you would want to be loved.  I expect that your relationship with Christ is stronger.

I do not fear getting older.  The only thing I think about getting older is that its surreal.  I think that I am a lot more wise than my 18 year old self... but I know I am still that girl in a lot of ways.  I think about my mom and people I know and how I am now how old they were when I was just a kid... and how differently I looked up to the adults I knew... how big and strong and heroic they all seemed... now that I'm that age myself I know they were just people like me.

I have to say, after cleaning up poopy diapers, even having our son wet his pants today (which at this point is rare), picking up mess after mess after mess.... arguing about play dough... having to duke it out with our husband on who is going to watch them what nights... I look forward to 14 and 12.... I bet they make their own sandwiches, even might do their own laundry now?

Maybe you are playing taxi and driving them everywhere... remember, you used to be stuck in the house ALL DAY with them!! Not that its bad, but right now you can't even poop alone.  I hope you are making up for all the alone time and sleep you gave up when they were little.

No matter where you are or what you're doing... I hope you don't feel panicked to make something of yourself or to be someone you're not.  40 is right around the corner,
I know you are probably rocking it.

Remember, I love you... and God loves you where you are.  I hope you never give up on yourself like you did in your twenties.  If you've lost your way, remember that God is the way back.  Good luck with the next 10 years.  You're doing great.

Love,
Me

it can WAIT!

As a housewife/ stay at home mom, I have umpteen million things to do at any given time, and it never ends. I easily have sloffed off reading my bible or connecting with my Father because I have too much going on, too many distractions. These last couple weeks I've made it IMPERATIVE that I read my bible every morning no matter how many dishes are in the sink, even if no one has clean underwear, IT CAN WAIT!

Luke 10:38-42 New International Version (NIV)

At the Home of Martha and Mary
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I need to sit at the feet of my Lord and take Him in, even if its just for a moment. I have two very small children (3 and 1), so we eat our breakfast, and after I'm finished, I read aloud as they finish theirs. I read aloud as they run around wild playing. I read aloud as my big boy sits in my lap and listens. Its been such a blessing each morning. Its become more important then everything else in my day. I look forward to it. I crave it more than food!

"He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." Deut. 8:3