SAHMwich : Sanity

Monday, September 23, 2013

Sanity

What areas of your life are you ready to release control of and hand over to God? Be specific. -CR Step Study

I have a hard time with this question because I feel I have been or said I've been ready to release control of my food to the Lord so many times. I want to say it again, but because of my past, I feel anxious and doubtful. Instead I will say I am ready to release control of my past failures and successes-- to attempt to not allow these to affect my decisions and emotions today. I may have failed or did great yesterday, but today is a new day and I need to stay focused on now. I have different scenarios I'm faced with today than I was faced with 4 years, 2 years, a month, or even a day ago. I can't live back there. I want to be ready to release control of my food to God. I want to be OK with only being able to eat a small variety of foods instead of feeling sorry for myself or angry because "It's not fair." I want to release control of my anxieties to God, when I feel them, pause, and let Him deal with them instead of me and my schemes and compulsions. I want to release control of anger and frustrations in the same way. I need divine peace and patience injected into my life here.

Father God,
You know how I feel about giving my food over to you daily. How I struggle with controlling it... how I rationalize eating things I cannot eat without falling into gluttony. Lord I need you to make me willing, daily, to give this over to you. I need you to speak against the whispers of the enemy. You have been faithful and I have seen this already happening, I want more of it. I am feeling more confident lately, in a genuine way, not an eccentric way-- thank you God! Slowly this fog of anxiety I've been living in is being lifted and the changes are exciting and frightening at the same time. Lord I need you to walk next to me in the darkness and lead me through it all. Bless my efforts and protect me from any evil schemes against me! Remind me you will open the right doors, help me to run through them! I find safety and comfort in your embrace, Lord, thank you so much for what you are changing inside me.
In the name of Jesus Christ I pray- Amen.

I am currently participating in a Celebrate Recovery (a Christian-based 12 step program) Step Study. I am posting an answer to one question a week here on my blog to share. Find all my posted Lesson answers HERE.

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Plan of Eating (POE)

Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is defined as "the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve-Step program.” If I have abstained from compulsive overeating, I am abstinent.

My Plan of Eating is what helps me find and maintain abstinence from compulsive overeating. My daily plan is to eat 3 meals and an optional snack without eating in between, avoid eating trigger foods, to plan my meals ahead of time, and to track my meals on my fitness pal so that I am accountable. I have a calorie goal, but that can be flexible depending on how much activity/ exercise I have had that day.

I am not perfect, I have days when I try to eat something I haven't had in a while, days where I experiement with different foods to see what I can or cannot handle. I have days where I eat compulsively, but not overeat- I am still abstinent. I have days where I didn't plan well enough and get stuck eating flour and sugar, if I didn't compulsively overeat- I'm still abstinent. If I'm sloppy with my POE I struggle more, so if I want to succeed then I try to stick with it. But not everything goes according to plan! I have to give myself grace and learn from mistakes, and pray for the willingness to stick with it.

Plan of Action

My Plan of Action is what I attempt to do daily to maintain abstinence.

Journaling/Daily Inventory

writing about my day, my feelings, praises and prayers.

Sponsorship

contacting my sponsor about what's going on with me, look for feedback and advice

Accountability Partners

friends who are in recovery with me that I can call and talk to if I need prayer, help, or just to chat and get my mind off of obsessions

Prayer

spending time with God, humbling myself, asking for my daily bread and armor

Bible Study

feeding my soul the word of God. I believe that the more I read it the more God can change me.

Meditation

spending time being quiet, allowing the Holy Spirit to move and speak to me and for me

Meetings

making going to meetings weekly a priority in my schedule

Exercise

God's natural antidepressant. Also helps me achieve a normal body weight

Proper Hygiene

getting dressed every day, doing my hair and make up every day, even if I am not leaving this house. I am a stay at home mom and it can be too easy to be lax and wear pajamas every day and not take care of myself. My body needs to be properly maintained if I am to continue life with peace and serenity

Meal Planning / Grocery Lists

important in avoiding compulsive eating/food behaviors... helps keep me on track. if my meals are planned out and the food is in the house then there is no reason for me to need to even think about it or make decisions emotionally.

Meal Tracking

on My Fitness Pal- my recovery friends are on there to keep me honest and accountable for ever bite/lick/taste. Helps me know exactly whats going in my mouth and combats mindless eating.