SAHMwich : god's economy

Thursday, June 27, 2013

god's economy

"In God's economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a
lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is."

Bill W., Letter of 1942

Today's meditation has me thinking. I've been really having a hard time the last week: Super stressed out, not able to focus, losing my abstinence, binging yesterday.... I keep hearing the lies of this disease in my mind (that are so obviously LIES from what it's caused for me this week) things like "maybe I can do this on my own" "I can eat these things in moderation".... No I can't. I can't do this on my own, I cannot eat trigger foods in moderation. It will put me right back in the prison of COE. Is this worth it? Worth a little bite of this or a little sip of that? This insanity and struggle I'm experiencing this week? I'm worth more, I deserve better, my body isn't a trash can. The body is a temple for the Holy Spirit, I don't need to be abusing it!

Lord, I need you. You are so big and strong, I can't do this alone today. I'm so weak. I'm absolutely powerless over food and my life is unmanageable! Please Lord take the wheel again, I'm so sorry I tried to take it back. You can have it. I don't want it anymore today. Amen

I've been trying to make sure that each morning after breakfast I read the word out loud. Even if it's just one chapter. I feel like the word spoken is filling my home with the power of the spirit and blesses the ears of my little ones. They might not listen or understand what they are hearing in the background as they play, but I know it's doing something.

I've also been reading a book called Sacred Marriage and the biggest thing I come away from each day is that my adversity and struggles in my life are what make me strong and shape me into a better warrior for the Lord. That if I look at each difficulty in my life as an opportunity for spiritual growth instead of something to lament and even run from, the Lord releases me from FEAR and fills me with CONFIDENCE. what a blessing this addiction to food is for me! What a blessing my marriage is! I can learn so much about forgiveness, grace, love, and sacrifice: The grace and sacrifice Jesus gave so freely for us to be saved! I have nothing to feel sorry about today!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Plan of Eating (POE)

Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is defined as "the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve-Step program.” If I have abstained from compulsive overeating, I am abstinent.

My Plan of Eating is what helps me find and maintain abstinence from compulsive overeating. My daily plan is to eat 3 meals and an optional snack without eating in between, avoid eating trigger foods, to plan my meals ahead of time, and to track my meals on my fitness pal so that I am accountable. I have a calorie goal, but that can be flexible depending on how much activity/ exercise I have had that day.

I am not perfect, I have days when I try to eat something I haven't had in a while, days where I experiement with different foods to see what I can or cannot handle. I have days where I eat compulsively, but not overeat- I am still abstinent. I have days where I didn't plan well enough and get stuck eating flour and sugar, if I didn't compulsively overeat- I'm still abstinent. If I'm sloppy with my POE I struggle more, so if I want to succeed then I try to stick with it. But not everything goes according to plan! I have to give myself grace and learn from mistakes, and pray for the willingness to stick with it.

Plan of Action

My Plan of Action is what I attempt to do daily to maintain abstinence.

Journaling/Daily Inventory

writing about my day, my feelings, praises and prayers.

Sponsorship

contacting my sponsor about what's going on with me, look for feedback and advice

Accountability Partners

friends who are in recovery with me that I can call and talk to if I need prayer, help, or just to chat and get my mind off of obsessions

Prayer

spending time with God, humbling myself, asking for my daily bread and armor

Bible Study

feeding my soul the word of God. I believe that the more I read it the more God can change me.

Meditation

spending time being quiet, allowing the Holy Spirit to move and speak to me and for me

Meetings

making going to meetings weekly a priority in my schedule

Exercise

God's natural antidepressant. Also helps me achieve a normal body weight

Proper Hygiene

getting dressed every day, doing my hair and make up every day, even if I am not leaving this house. I am a stay at home mom and it can be too easy to be lax and wear pajamas every day and not take care of myself. My body needs to be properly maintained if I am to continue life with peace and serenity

Meal Planning / Grocery Lists

important in avoiding compulsive eating/food behaviors... helps keep me on track. if my meals are planned out and the food is in the house then there is no reason for me to need to even think about it or make decisions emotionally.

Meal Tracking

on My Fitness Pal- my recovery friends are on there to keep me honest and accountable for ever bite/lick/taste. Helps me know exactly whats going in my mouth and combats mindless eating.